1984, New York, New York
In December of 1984, Joseph Virgil Skaggs (a.k.a. Joey Skaggs), had had enough of the outrageous behavior exhibited by inconsiderate, unconscious, hostile pedestrians in New York City. Skaggs formed WALK RIGHT! -- an ad hoc group of vigilante sidewalk etiquette enforcers who patrolled the streets to make New York a better place to live and walk. This Fascist group, dressed in all black with WALK RIGHT! sweat shirts published a petition that listed sixty six rules for pedestrians which they wanted to have enacted into law. The list included such regulations as:
- All shopping and laundry carts must have their wheels well oiled.
- Obese people must walk single file.
- Different types of lanes were to be established -- one way lanes, a passing lane, window shopping lanes, etc..
- Pedestrians must choose one lane and stay in it.
- No changing directions except at designated areas. No stopping while walking except when in the shopping lane.
- No gesticulating while walking.
- No eating while walking.
- No short people with umbrellas unless held at minimum height of 5' 10".
Pedestrians who violated the sidewalk rules were to be fined and forced to attend a WALK RIGHT! sidewalk etiquette school. WOR TV Channel 9 News and CNN, walked right into WALK RIGHT!
© 1997 Joey Skaggs